We did it! About 4 weeks after our devastating news (negative mTESE) in January, we told our families about our infertility. I was so nervous before our first phone call I thought I was going to pee in my pants.
We called Mr.E’s brother first. Somehow brother-to-brother contact seemed the best way to break the ice. It all went very well. After that first call Mr.E said he felt a huge weight lifted.
I think our prayers and your prayers were answered tonight (thank you for your prayers!). I had imagined all these horror stories about someone saying something completely insensitive, but none of them did! Each person was very sad with us (not just for us). We had to prod each of them to ask us questions by assuring them it was ok. Each of them was so respectful about it being a private matter.
After telling us they love us and after assuring them it was ok to ask questions, some people wanted to know why we were infertile. Others just wanted to know what our plans are for starting our family. We didn’t plan on mentioning donor sperm as one of the options we are thinking about, but the very first thing Mr.E’s mom said when we told them that Mr.E doesn’t have any sperm was, “What about a donor? Have you considered that?”
Now to some people that might have been considered insensitive, but to me it was music to my ears!! I really, really worried about what Mr.E’s parents would think of donor sperm if we went that route. To me they seem very conservative and I worried that they might have old-fashioned opinions about it.
What a relief this whole thing was. I’m still glad we waited to tell people. If we had found sperm at the mTESE, I would have been glad to never tell a soul. Or to tell everyone a miracle story years from now.
Thank you so much everyone for your prayers and sending us positive thoughts. You are very much appreciated!
Written February 16, 2014