I Feel Sorry for Fertiles

So I’m walking through Costco minding my own business when I get stuck behind two ladies gossiping.

Lady 1: (something unintelligible)

Lady 2 (the Fertile): Really? Yeah, it seems like everyone’s heard my stories.

Lady 1: (something unintelligible)

The Fertile: When I meet someone new they’re like, “Oh, are you the one who got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy?” And I’m like, “Yes.”

Lady 1: (something unintelligible)

The Fertile: I know! And I just had my tubes tied, so I’ll probably get pregnant AGAIN!

Me: Oh, you poor, unfortunate soul.

Just kidding. I wish. And I could have sung it in my best Ursula voice, too.

What actually happened:

Me: (gagging, walking away as fast as I can with my costco-heavy cart which included toilet paper that will last a year and a block of cheese bigger than my head)

An hour later:

Me: (still trying to think of something snarky to say. I got nothin.)

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