Miracle Babies’ Upcoming Birthday

Holy crap, you guys. The twins are almost a year old. 

What the heck happened to my tiny little babies? It seems like it was just a little bit ago that they were so tiny. And then they got so chubby. And now they’re crawling and starting to thin out a bit. 

It’s been an amazing year. So many milestones, so much learned (by them and by me!), and so much love. Overflowing with love and giggles and joy.

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A Year Ago Today

A year ago today, MLK Jr. Day, was Mr.E’s mTESE surgery. As you know, the surgery failed and zero sperm were retrieved. We received a diagnosis of Sertoli Cell Only. We were devastated and felt the death of lifelong dreams.

Today, we are 31w2d pregnant with boy/girl twins. We got to go to the hospital for a non stress test today and heard baby girl having hiccups 🙂 It was so cute!!

So much can happen in a year! A year ago, I thought I could never be happy again. Today, I can see so much happiness in our future. I see joy, love, family, and a stronger marriage.

I have so much gratitude for the doctors who helped us, for the love and support we’ve received from family members, for the gift of life we received from my BIL, our sperm donor. I have so much gratitude for them because of the happiness I see in Mr.E’s face. His eyes light up so often now! He says how excited he is to hold both of the babies and shows me how he’s going to coo and talk to them. And today, his eyes were so bright and full of joy when he heard baby girl’s hiccups. I hope I remember that look on his face for the rest of my life. It was priceless!

I started this blog to help people on their azoospermia journey to fulfill their dreams of having biological children. Without deviating from that goal, I want to convey that there is happiness, joy, even bliss to be found even if the ultimate goal of finding sperm is not reached. So much happiness!

IVF #3 – 19 Weeks 0 Days – Halfway Point

Funny how time changes things. Sometimes I find myself in awe that this is actually happening. When we go for ultrasounds, I have a tiny suspicion that it’s fake.

We went for our anatomy scan yesterday. The babies are 10oz and 11oz. Baby A is a GIRL! And Baby B is a BOY!!

Because it seems too good to be true, I find myself imagining all the things that could go wrong. For example, physical things with the babies like pre-term labor, pre-eclampsia, knots in their cords, blood clots, etc. And then after they’re born, what if my BIL, our donor, goes psycho and decides he wants custody or something crazy. We never had him sign any legal documents.

I guess the worries never end. But I’m grateful we get to have the worries. Every day that they’re alive and kicking is a day to celebrate! And that’s what we’re trying to do every day!

IVF #3 – 6 Weeks 2 Days Pregnant – 1st Ultrasound

Longest 18 days ever, but we finally made it!

3:56pm: We are sitting in the waiting room for our very first ultrasound!!! I have a few butterflies in my stomach. For the last couple weeks I’ve been hoping for twins, but right now I will feel so grateful if there’s any baby at all.

4:05pm: We’re still in the waiting room. Almost all of our family members live out of state, one lives in Japan, so we wanted to film the ultrasound today. We bought a new memory stick for the camera and a tripod so that Mr.E can just watch and relax and live in the moment during the ultrasound. Eeeee!!! Call our name, please!!!!

5:18pm: We’re on our way home. We saw TWO beautiful heartbeats! Baby A measures 6w1d and sac measures 6w0d. Baby B measures 6w2d and sac measures 6w4d. AAHHHH we’re in heaven!

I asked if we should be worried about Baby A being a little behind, but the doctor said that we have a 3 day leeway on the crown to rump measurements. Baby A is just 1 day behind my actual, so he thinks it’s just fine.

Mr.E is a firefighter and there’s a funny joke: what does the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Hose B 🙂 Mr.E told that joke to the doctor who thought it was hilarious!

IVF #3 – 11dp5dt – Beta #1

I went for my first beta today. It was supposed to be tomorrow, but with the bleeding on Friday night I asked if I could go a day early.

I love the IHC hospitals in Utah. You can get results from blood work and radiology imaging way earlier. One time I was in the ER with OHSS (after IVF #1), and I was reading my CT scan results on my iPad about 15 min before the ER doctor came to tell me about them.

Anyway, I’ve been hitting “refresh” on my account every 5 min for the last 2.5 hours waiting for the results to show up.

566!!

Now of course what really matters is if on Wednesday my beta #2 is double that.

Hurry, Wednesday, hurry and get here!

I found this cool set of charts that show betas from thousands of women. 566 is just above the median hCG for twin pregnancies on 16dpo, but well below the highest hCG for singleton pregnancies on 16dpo.

After analyzing that, I thought, “Who cares! There’s a baby in there! Yay!”

UPDATE: 3:20pmThe nurse just called to tell us the results. She said that tomorrow they would have hope to see the hCG over 100 (!!) and since mine is so high to be prepared to possibly see more than one heartbeat. Which of course would be a dream come true!

IVF#3 – Stim Day 9

Major disaster averted! My brother-in-law flew in early this morning and went straight over to the clinic. He got tested for everything all over again, took the donor screening questionnaire, had a physical exam and gave a semen sample.

It almost feels like yesterday was a bad dream because everything is back to normal today. Except our credit cards have a higher balance.
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IVF #3 – My IVF Calendar – Antagonist Protocol

We switched clinics several weeks ago. Not because I didn’t like my last clinic, actually I loved it and tried extremely hard to stay with them, but their policy is to require the 6 month quarantine for sperm from a known donor, also called a directed donor. You can read more about that quarantine here in my post about FDA regulations for directed donors.

Anyway, so I chose our new clinic based on their policy to allow us to use sperm that has only been quarantined for 7 days. Their success rate isn’t quite as good as our first clinic, but it’s still good.

As our new doctor said, there’s a certain amount of “voodoo” that goes into fertility treatments. Sometimes even if there’s no study that shows an absolute improvement in outcomes with a certain addition to the standard protocol, for example taking a baby aspirin everyday, the clinic will still have you do it because it’s part of their protocol. They don’t want to “mess with the voodoo” if it’s not causing any harm.

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Topaz Mini Plantar Fasciotomy for Plantar Fasciitis

I’ll step away from infertility stuff for this post. Yesterday I had the Topaz Mini Plantar Fasciotomy surgery on both feet. Here is a video of my doctor performing the surgery on a different patient.

Even though the surgery is unrelated to our infertility, the timing is not. Stims for IVF #3 start 2 weeks from tomorrow on June 7. It occurred to me that I might be pregnant in several weeks and if I didn’t do something to help my feet soon then I wouldn’t be able take care of my pregnant body or my future baby(ies) properly!

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