Holy crap, you guys. The twins are almost a year old.
What the heck happened to my tiny little babies? It seems like it was just a little bit ago that they were so tiny. And then they got so chubby. And now they’re crawling and starting to thin out a bit.
It’s been an amazing year. So many milestones, so much learned (by them and by me!), and so much love. Overflowing with love and giggles and joy.
Operation: Miracle 
Oh my gosh I could not believe seeing your post in my inbox! Isn’t it mind-blowing where life can take you, even when things have looked so bleak? God is good! Yay for the twins first birthday! And we are so excited, after five years of “no”s, to be welcoming a little boy due May 7th! Like you, I wondered if this would ever happen for us….if maybe it was an impossible dream that we should just give up on. These babies all are absolute miracles! That’s the perfect word 🙂
Oh I love love LOVE this comment!!! I’m so incredibly happy for you!!! This seriously just made my day! I wish I knew you in real life so I could send you a gift! When you have time, please share your miracle story of how you got pregnant!
Thank you so much!! 😀
For anyone who stumbles on this blog because you’re facing an azoospermia diagnosis or any other fertility issue….when it seems impossible, have hope. We started TTC in Feb 2011, when both of us were 29. A year later, when nothing had happened we went to see a RE. Of course, in the interest of making as much $ as possible, he did every test in the book on me before doing a $15 semen analysis on my husband ($75 w/out Ins – still cheap). [For those of you that have not been to RE yet, please make them test your husband first! It is so much cheaper and less invasive. Do not just assume the problem is with you.] Anyway, three months later when the gamut of tests was completed on me, he finally suggested the semen analysis….we were shocked by the results. Rare, motile sperm….like 20…nope, not 20 million….20 (or so). The next one a few months later showed rare, NON-motile sperm! This was not a fluke. Wow. Okay. It kind of just bowls you over…then you do all this research, buy all these supplements, try as hard as you can to figure out WHY. We just could not ever figure it out, and nothing was improving it.
Subsequent semen analysis showed rare, motile sperm again so by August 2013 we were ready to try an IVF cycle w/ ISCI. We were told we should probably have a back-up donor in case there were none alive in the samples he would be giving a few weeks before retrieval and on retrieval, if necessary. When we got to that point, fortunately when combing through the sample the embryologist found enough to fertilize the 10 mature eggs they retrieved. We transferred one embryo and ended up with four really good ones to freeze. When that fresh embryo failed to implant, we were so sad and disappointed, but we tried our best to keep our hopes up. February and September 2014 frozen cycles we started were both cancelled, for different reasons. In May 2015, we started a frozen cycle that actually went to transfer, but sadly implantation failed on this one as well….we found out on our 5th anniversary. I had previously felt like the significance of the date was a sign we’d be successful, so I think I was even more disappointed and angry when that was not the case.
We were going to “get back on the horse” the following month with the same RE we’d been seeing since the beginning. I even had the baseline ultrasound with him….but neither of us had peace about it. That led us to check his success rates (believe it or not, I had not yet done this….PLEASE DO THIS!!). They were abysmal. My best friend had already mentioned an RE in AL, where we are from, that she’d heard wonderful things about. We checked his credentials and success rates, and long story short, after a phone interview he agreed to do our cycle. So we traveled home and stayed with my parents during August 2015. Finally….SUCCESS. I couldn’t believe my eyes seeing that BFP!! I truly had no idea if it would ever happen for us, but I can say I completely trusted in God and his will, and he gave us strength. Anyone who is going through this, please do the same! No matter your path to parenthood, if he put the dream in your heart he will see it through! Trust him. He is able to do miracles, and that is what we all need 🙂
I was so excited to see a new post from you! Thanks for the update. I can’t believe your sweet babies are already a year old. My husband and I are still on our journey. Opted against the sperm mapping procedure with Dr. Turek and instead did a MTESE with a concurrent round of IVF/ICSI in June 2015 with a local doctor. It was a partial success in that they found ELEVEN sperm (I was ecstatic for even one) but the quality was very poor (arguable that they were even mature). Of my ten eggs, only 4 fertilized and 2 made it to day 3. We transferred both but sadly, our cycle failed. We spent the next several months grieving and trying to figure out our next step. After a second consult with Dr. Schlegel at Cornell, we’ve decided to try a repeat MTESE and I begin stimming later this month. It’s been such a lonnnnng waiting process but I’m praying that God has a miracle in store for us!
Believing and praying for you Jo….good luck to y’all! It’s very encouraging there were sperm! Hang in there and be good to one another….that is something we had to remember to focus on, amid all the stress & details 🙂 Please come back and update afterwards…..
Hi! I found your blog yesterday, when I was still at the “azo -what” stage, and it has been SO helpful. I have already read through the entire blog. Thank you so much for writing it! We are still waiting for the genetic testing after the disappointing results of the sperm test. We were told it would be a four week wait, but after waiting those four weeks, we were told it might take four more. So frustrating! Hopefully, the doctors will find sperm with mTESE.
My husband and I worry that he will not love our future baby as much as I will if we use a sperm donor (and therefore my husband would rather adopt. I would rather be pregnant)
Do you have any reassurances to share with someone who worries just as much as you do? (Thank you for being so honest – I have recognized so many of my own thoughts in what you’ve written!)
Hi! I found your blog and I want you to know how helpful you sharing your journey with the world has been. My husband has azoospermia and we recently had a mTESE resulting in zero sperm as well. These are dark days and just knowing that you and Mr. E made it to the other side makes my heart so happy. We also plan to ask his brother if he would be our donor. Thank you for sharing ❤